


Goals, Love and other Sins

by Benplatter



Category: The Politician (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Cheating, Depression, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Inner Dialogue, Internal Monologue, M/M, Pop Culture, Romance, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Teen Romance, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:14:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22114696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Benplatter/pseuds/Benplatter
Summary: Payton has to decide what he really wants in his life.
Relationships: Alice Charles/Payton Hobart, River Barkley/Payton Hobart, River Barkley/Payton Hobart/Astrid Sloan
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34





	1. Prologue

Recognizing you are in love is harder than they make you believe in movies. Like, really what the heck? In romantic movies they spend like an afternoon together and they just click and the rest of the film it’s just overcoming obstacles until they can finally be together and ride off into the sunset. 

And then there is me and my life so far. My life is already kind of perfect, I've got perfect grades, the perfect girlfriend, my family is… well, rich, I am kind of popular thanks to the social justice warrior trend influencing the youth through Netflix and tumblr to be kinder to each other and make them self aware of their own privileges. My mother loves me dearly and my friends more than support me to reach my ultimate goal in life. 

So you see everything is just perfect going! 

But sometimes life is really like the movies and even if I can't say it out loud, I am head over heels in love with someone; I think.

So, some things happened now and I have to look at myself and reflect the decisions I made that are going to influence my life plan immensely. 

See, here is my perfect life compared to what I kind of can't stop desiring. Gosh, there I was, the perfect girlfriend on one hand and all the inner turmoil I get through because of my adorable Chinese tutor on the other. One is easy,steady,long-lasting, perfect and boring. The other one makes your toes curl, you are all nervously excited, it makes you a bit more stupid in everything you do, let's you actually feel things but it can't ever be fully purchased or you won't reach your goal. 

So I swear to you, it was like the movies. I've known River for a few years, that's the Chinese tutor I mentioned. I never really talked to him even though we've been classmates for so long, but he was dating the only true mean person left in Santa Barbara, and that when he himself was most definitely the nicest, most coherent person to exist in this place. He was athletic which I am not. He was popular on a whole different other level. And yes, at least in Mandarin he outsmarted me. Let's be real, he effing looks like a life action version of Prince Eric with the hair and the eyes and the lips… and the abs. Sorry. Not sorry. 

But! But and this is the most important part, I am going to be the president of the United States of America. Me, my friends and my future wife have it all planned, calculated and all of us are playing our roles in perfection to bring my dream to life. 

There is no room for a one of it's kind movie love romance with River, whom kissed me first and had my mind filled with that kiss nonstop, replaying it over and over in my head and every replay made it even more the most perfect epic kiss of all first kisses to ever exist with the smell of jasmine in the air, the sandalwood odor around him, the warmth from his hand clasping my face and the salt from my tears on our lips moving together. 

But no! Payton Hobart, you won't become president with River Hobart- eh Barkley, River Barkley as your First Lady? -Husband? - on your side. That, you will only reach with a girl like Alice Charles whom is your girlfriend; whom is a wholesome mix of the best attributes of Jackie and Hillary. 

Then my worst living nightmare, Astrid, approached me and invited me to a threesome with her and River. 

And this is where the story of how I couldn't fall out of love with River Barkley starts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks!  
> I am dare. After rewatching The Politician and being a little Ben Platt stan I wanted to read a few fics on AO3 about my otp only to find... well not many of them. So I ignored myself and me actually needing to study for the test on monday and started writing this fic. Don't know where it will lead to in the end and how long it's gonna be since it's really a spur of the moment thing and services me in procrastinating the hell out of studying. So well. I hope you and I will have fun on this little journey.  
> Take care and enjoy (and if you notice big mistakes please tell me since English isn't my first language)


	2. Flirting and other Quirks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: a short discussion about the book Lolita and in that context mentions of pedophelia

Now that he had a taste of River Barkley, Payton became curious about him. Of course he knew that River was more popular than him, he was co-captain of the lacrosse team, has lived in China, dates the worst woman ever and from working on some random little class tasks together he knew he was very rigorous in every project he’s involved.

So ignoring why River kissed Payton, Payton was more interested in wondering why Astrid Sloan. That girl dared to approach him and suggest a threesome after for the past few years she didn’t leave one good hair on Payton. How does she even know him? She and Payton never shared a class together since even with intensive studying she was always kind of average and they had no interests in common which is why they never even shared extra curriculars. They most likely only walked by each other in the hallways or the cafeteria.

Even though River was a jock they shared advanced Maths, Literature and Mandarin. And River spreads his wings in lots of directions like he was part of the school’s theater ensemble, he supported charity events and was obviously humble, or else he wouldn’t go around being a tutor for the less blessed Mandarin students in Santa Barbara with the kind of money his family has. 

  
  


Instead of being fully involved in class, Payton’s gaze wandered to River’s back who was sitting two rows in front and center away from him in their advanced Literature class. The teacher was talking about some Russian big name author, which Payton most likely has read all works from but didn’t care about right now when he could just watch River’s left dimple deepen or his brow knitting in concentration.

His phone buzzed in his trousers, he pulled it out of his pocket and looked down at the message from Alice.

_ I love you so much. xoxo _

Wow. Since kissing River he hasn’t really thought about her. He adored her. She was perfect for him and did everything for him. Was what he did betrayal? Payton had this weird feeling in his stomach just thinking about this word in capital letters. He swallowed thickly. His fingertips slipped subconsciously between his lips, the teeth gnawing at the yellow skin before biting hard on the fingernail. 

Suddenly there was a hand disturbing his view on the text message that reached for his wrist and pulled his fingers away from their oral abuse.

“You shouldn’t do that to yourself. You have such nice musical hands, it’s a shame that you don’t use them more for what they are designed to do.”

Payton looked up at River who was still grasping his wrist, his thump making gentle circles on his skin whose movement were almost invisible. The sudden disturbance had his mind shut so he stared dumbfounded at River with his mouth wide open.

“W-What?” He finally stammered.

“If you haven’t noticed, everyone in class is supposed to find a partner and discuss ‘why Lolita is a masterpiece or wholesome shit’ if I may quote our dear Mr. Uchitel.” River had this crooked smirk playing around his mouth which made Paytons ears turn red from heat.

“Sure,” he exhaled, gesturing for River to take a seat.

River pulled his abandoned chair over without losing eye contact with Payton. Gosh, he may look like a Disney prince but at the same time Payton wished River would be like that werewolf guy (-Jacob?) from the Twilight movies, losing his shirt every few minutes. Oh man, he always thought he was born a middle aged old man but River has given him all kinds of feelings and for the first time ever he understood the other teenagers and their, you know, urges around him.

River sat across from him and waited for Payton to start the discussion that flirty smirk still teasing him.

“So what do you think, ” asked Payton. “Masterpiece or wholesome shit?” He himself had a very explicit opinion about Lolita but he couldn’t find it anywhere in his mind palace.

“Well Nabokov makes you forget that Lolita is a young girl the way Humbert desires her but when taking a step back while reading you notice that Humbert is an apologist and is fully aware of raping her. I think it’s supposed to be read with a critical eye and not to satisfy some people’s fetishes like the obvious pedophelia. But I don’t think that’s what the common reader does since Nabokov plays so much with the different languages he has used.”

“So you think it’s wholesome shit.” Payton concluded.

“Yes, I do think it’s wholesome shit.” They shared a small laugh. 

Suddenly Payton felt a lot more at ease and the thick clouds behind his forehead began to clear. He felt his foot being nudged under the table and raised his eyebrows at River, nudging him as well.

“So…”

“So,”” repeated River. “Topic change?” He folded his hands on his lap and sat back in his chair.

Payton slightly nodded his head and waited for River to prompt a new topic.

“Has anyone ever told you that you have these little quirks you do?” 

Wow what a topic change. Payton had to blink intensely at that.

“I...wha- excuse me?” Wow word salad, Payton.

River laughed, watching him. “Yes, just like this. When you’re out of words your face looks like a snail trying get back into it’s house.” He leaned over and took Payton’s hand, playing with his fingers. “Or when you want to say something and someone else is still talking, you scratch your nose like you want it off your face. Or when you become anxious you start chewing your fingernails. And that you do quite often.”

Payton pulled his hand away and looked around if someone was watching them but there were no eyes on them. “Okay, I understand. You think I’m weird.”

Their conversation took a bad turn, Payton knew, but seeing how River’s face fell from his words hurt him more than he would have expected. 

River sighed before catching Payton’s hand again. “I don’t think you are weird.I actually think you are cute. And I think your quirks make you even more adorable. Everyone knows you are smart,collected and driven but I feel like I’m the only one noticing these kind of things about you and that I do enjoy, being the only one adoring these hidden attributes about you.”

Payton bit down on his bottom lip but couldn’t hide the smile forming on his face. River answered with the same smile and tightened his grip on Payton’s hand.

“Can I tell you a secret about me?” River whispered. Payton nodded. River came closer. So close, Payton thought he was about to be kissed right here in class but River missed his lips and went for his ear, his lips brushing against the shell and sending shivers down Payton’s spine. “I love it when you smile.”

The bell rang at that minute and the tall man stood up walking backwards until his legs hit his table, grabbing his bag and then finally turning around and leaving the classroom. Payton could just stare at him and watch him leave. The word love repeating over and over again in his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I actually never read Lolita. What River says is just what I gathered from movies like Captain Fantastic and Wikipedia


	3. Texts and Chats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this on my phone, I hope I didn't make too many mistakes.... Sorry?

It was still the same day when Payton sat in the cafeteria waiting for his team to gather. He was quietly recapping what had happened today. First that with Astrid and later with River. Payton wondered if River knew what Astrid had suggested. Maybe River tried to open him up to that idea. Maybe he was only interested in his body. Maybe it was the couple’s idea of fun and they just want to use him for a threesome.

He saw three bodies move into his field of vision, putting down their trays on their side of the table before sitting down in synchronisation. In the middle sat his girlfriend Alice, flanked from his best friend, James, and McAfee on Alice’s other side.

“Payton,” said his girlfriend. “You haven’t texted me back since yesterday. I was worried.” Her face didn’t show any emotion but there was a little quiver in her voice only Payton had noticed.

Instead of answering Payton took a hasty bite of his lunch. McAfee looked down at his plate and suddenly her eyes widened in surprise. “What’s wrong with you?!”

“Excuse me?” He asked while rushing to swallow.

“Today is Tuesday. You don’t eat meat on Tuesdays.” She looked shocked, even grasping her blouse at where her heart beats underneath. “What should the voters think? You’re going to be a public figure!”

James nodded in agreement. “That’s right.” He said, pulling out his notebook. He tapped on a note, “You only eat kosher meat at school on Mondays and Wednesday to have enough animal protein to digest for your athletic curriculum. “The other days you present the vegan lifestyle at school to show your support against animal cruelty and to keep your ecological footprint as small as possible in your diet.” He made his notebook shut with a loud noise to emphasize his point.

Payton put down his fork. “Oh sorry, I didn’t even think about that.” He sighed, rubbing his forehead before looking at the trio again. All three faces had a look of worry directed at Payton. 

“Get a grip, man.” Hissed James. “You can’t slip up like that again or you’re about to seriously damage your reputation.

McAfee held her hands up, “I can’t work like that.”

Alice catched Payton’s eyes. “I love you,” she told him and gave him a little smile.

“I love you too.” Payton reciprocated the smile.

“-but you’ve got to stay on course.” She finished, her smile gone.

Payton put his hand on the table for her to take and she laid her hand over his without hesitation. That’s their thing, that’s their special way of communication. They tell each other through a hand held that they support each other, that they are doing this together, that they are okay and that they love each other.

Holding her hand like this made Payton for the first time since that kiss think of something else but River. He felt grounded and like a stream was pushing him in the right direction. Right, Payton’s supposed to become the President of the United States of America and that goal he will reach with perfect Alice.

“I’m sorry guys. You know how it is, every few years I have that off day.” He tried to joke, “James, remember at my eighth birthday party? When I drank all that Mountain Dew without a reason?”

James groaned and started really laughing. “Oh I remember. I made your mother delete all video records of that day. If ever just a snippet of that day was publicized we can all look for a new career path.”

Alice was confused. “You guys were eight.”

“That makes it even worse when you think about it.” McAfee added, raising her eyebrows in challenge.

“So what did you do? And how did the Mountain Dew play into it?” Alice was way too curious for her own good.

  
  


“Sorry,” said James. “I had everyone involved sign a confidentiality agreement. That Payton has mentioned the incident is already a breach of contract.”

"Everyone knows but me." Sighed Alice. "How? McAfee moved here senior year of middle school." 

"Well, let's just say it's my job to find out these things. And let's say there was an aforementioned snippet left of Payton’s birthday party but now, thanks to me, it's gone." Explained McAfee. "I always find out everything." She had this weird look directed at Payton. 

He swallowed hard and stood up taking his tray with him. "I'm going to the library before class continues. See you later. " He turned around and hurried away from his friends. 

A few seconds later there was a text from McAfee. 

Wait for me in the library 

Payton sat patiently in a comfy chair in the library and researched positive attributes about previous candidates voters had a tendency to elect for presidency. 

It was almost time to head to the next class and he was wondering if McAfee was still coming when he glanced up from his book and saw from his left hand side River approach while on the other side McAfee was coming towards him to have a word with Payton. Both didn’t notice the other since they were separated by a high bookshelf lining the path to where Payton sat. 

He couldn't take both at the same time, so Payton did the only thing he could think of and that was bailing from the situation. He stood up like he hadn't noticed either of them and moved in a casual way to a divert direction, fishing for his headphones in his bag to give the impression of being ignorant of their presence. He used the shelfs as a maze and took several turns to escape from them. 

Finally outside the library he went to his next class with a headache. 

He really could take a breather right now but already while sitting down his phone suddenly started buzzing again and again. 

McAfee

Seriously Payton? 

McAfee 

You know that I know that you've seen me 

McAfee 

You ran away.

McAfee 

Oh maybe because my sources told me that there is something going on between Astrid, River and you? 

McAfee 

If you're going to leave Alice for Astrid you gotta tell your team. So I can prepare a statement and we can calculate in the divergence so we can stay EN ROUTE!

McAfee 

Payton! 

McAfee 

People saw you talking to River and Astrid within one day at different times. There is already all sorts of gossip going around. 

McAfee 

As your social media specialist I am calling an emergency meeting after class. 

McAfee

Attendance mandatory!

Payton decided to ignore the ongoing stream of texts to collect himself for class. It didn’t even take two exhales before James came in occupying the seat next to him. He must have sensed Payton’s mood since except for a few sideway glances James didn’t start a conversation with him. 

This day already felt like a train wreck. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw I bombed the test.


	4. Stop But Don't Stop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally through with the tests! Yay! I bombed them.  
> I thought alot about if I should write smut or not but I couldn't stop myself and so from this chapter on you can expect a bit of juicy content.   
> Have fun!

It seemed like James got a text from McAfee as well. The second the bell rang to end the period he took a hold of Payton’s arm, pulling him from his seat back to the library where McAfee was already waiting for them. As always he took the seat opposite of them. They sat there in silence, his team's dark stare prompting him to spill the tea. 

"So," started Payton. 

"So." James echoed him with a raised eyebrow. 

He swallowed. Payton had to think quickly. "It's true. Your sources are right, McAfee.” He nodded at her. “I've had a chat with Astrid, and River and I partnered in class earlier. So technically, yes, we talked." 

"That’s kind of weird,” mentioned James. “What did she want? Normally when she goes after your head she makes it a public event.” James scratched his head, clearly trying to figure out her motive.

“Well, my mother surprised me the other day with a Mandarin tutor.” Explained Payton.

“And?” His team asked in confusion.

“It’s River.”

There was just a little “oh” from the duo. 

“It’s great you’re still alive.” James leaned back in his chair and pulled his notebook out to write something down. “As far as I can tell she only becomes a fucking psychopath when you’re involved. I wonder why?”

Payton rubbed his eyes. Gosh, he felt tired. He sighed heavily. "I honestly don't know. It’s been like that for years." 

At that moment they turned around to look at River who was approaching their table and looked visibly devastated. 

McAfee wanted to say something to him, her mouth already open but River was faster. "Sorry guys for the interruption but I need to talk to Payton. Alone." He kept his eyes on Payton while his friends scrambled away but Payton knew they would stay close enough to either eavesdrop or read from their lips. 

"I'm sor-" started River when they were alone. 

But Payton shushed him, gesturing for them to go somewhere else. They left the library and searched for an empty classroom and found one within a few minutes. It was a relative small and dusty room which was a stark contrast to the rest of the high-end school. Through the small windows there was almost no daylight illuminating the inner walls, surrounding them in a state of dusk and giving them the perfect hide away from the rest of the world. 

Still, it was quiet for a moment before River tried again, both watching the door and waiting for someone to barge in to disrupt their conversation in any way before it had even started.

"Okay, right." The tall man began. "I heard from Astrid about earlier." 

Payton exhaled loudly. "Yes, you mean the -"

"That thing, yeah." Great, they can't even say it out loud. THE LITERAL FUCKING THREESOME, Payton’s inner voice screamed. "Please just forget about it. I made a mistake and you got involved. I'm sorry for that." It seemed like River prepared a monologue to... what, break up with him? 

River looked just as tired as Payton felt. Like his own feelings, his morals, social life and his daily life were suddenly not compatible anymore, making it a horrible uneven mix. It was unfair how River was continuously the better man of the two of them. River was, not like Payton, actually transparent about the ongoings in his life to the people around him. He even told his girlfriend. Payton would never tell Alice about this. Ever. River was nothing like Payton who only wanted to show the best sides of himself and show off attributes beyond his abilities just for his own gain. 

Still, like he had experienced before, with that magnetic boy nearby Payton behaved different, did things he wouldn't normally do and surprised himself again and again. It was clear River made him feel the stuff he normally couldn’t and even made him act on these feelings. 

It shouldn’t have been a surprise to both of them that Payton grabbed the athlete by the face and smashed their lips together but it did and that’s why their teeth got in the way on accident and resulted in both of them tasting the other’s blood in their mouths. 

A moment later they took a step away from each other, River laughed, realising something and wiped at his lip before gazing over to Payton who was so embarrassed the boy could have curled up and died at the spot. “Wow, that came unexpected.” River was actually grinning like an idiot while staring at the smear of blood on his thumb, suddenly feeling all light and happy.

Payton instead couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore and rested against a desk, staring at his shoes and bathing in agony because of his own stupidity. 

"I don't know what came over me," mumbled Payton. He wanted to run away, maybe move to a different state... join a monastery? 

He didn't look up, not even for a second. He was way too afraid of seeing River's reaction. It was bad enough to hear him laugh at his expanse. But Payton felt how River moved to sit beside him, their arms touching by sitting so close together.

"I do," whispered River softly. Before Payton had a chance to lift his eyes, River already bend down and caught his lips in a more gentle kiss than the previous one. "We really shouldn't be doing this," he giggled, his breath ragged and his charming crooked smile a sight for sore eyes. He captured Payton’s cheek with one hand and caressed the soft skin with his thumb before going for another peck.

They were both laughing because it was hilarious how they ignored just about everything, just blindly diving into a another taste and another and another. The bell rang but like a miracle this part of the building stayed eerily quiet, leaving them be. 

Lost in the moment they also got lost in each other. Time went by and River became more daring, his other arm propped around Payton’s shoulders and pulling his body closer against his wide chest. The smaller one fell in love with the feeling of River’s light stubble scratching against his lips and nibbled along the strong jawline before suddenly stopping in his tracks when he felt River, hard, against his thigh.

“R-R-River,” he half stuttered and half moaned. “Stop.” I can’t do this at school.” Payton noted to himself that he didn’t say ’he couldn’t do this at all’ just ‘not at school’. 

“Yes, sorry.” River pulled back a bit and glanced down at Payton’s abused lips, the rouge on his cheekbones and the tousled hair where his fingers had been. He couldn’t resist, surging and dipping down to steal another kiss he couldn’t break. The athlete moved to stand between his legs, pushed Payton down to lay flat on the table while hovering above him. Then their crotches met and River did something with his tongue and his teeth around Payton’s earlobe which drew a deep and needy moan from Payton.

Payton pulled him closer before moving one, two, three times together before he found the strength to push River away from him while his hips still looked for the friction. “I said stop.” Said Payton, his hands held up to stop River from another sneak attack.

“You’re right,” River nodded. “Sorry.” He walked away from him and cracked a window open to take a few deep breaths.

Payton’s heart raced. It was the first time he became this excited while making out. With Alice the sessions were scheduled when they made out or had sex and Alice always wanted to watch the documentary of Jackie Kennedy before he was allowed to even touch something else but her hand. And here he was, already desperate for River to touch him again, to make out and more. Like, fuck it, Payton was already skipping class, he shouldn’t have stopped him. But he was kind of sure his team was looking for him everywhere at this moment and his phone must be blowing up with texts from his friends in his bag.

He was cooling down and just like his heart his brain was also racing with thoughts. He couldn’t do this. Or could he? Betraying Alice, betraying his friends, risking his career. If this comes out to the public he wouldn’t be able to recover from this kind of scandal. Gnawing on his bottom lip and straightening his clothes, Payton had to make a decision. 

“Can I come over after school” He asked River. 

River swiveled around to look at him. Silence while they took each other in. Their breaths still not back to normal.

“Sure.”


	5. First Sins and Nothing Else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: THIS IS ALL SMUT  
> You are welcome to skip this chapter if you don't want to read the juicy stuff. Today will follow another chapter from a different pov that will be quite less smutty.
> 
> Sorry it took so long but like I said I wrote two chapters to upload and especially this one seems longer than the usual stuff.  
> 

After school they drove separately to River’s family house. River was there first and opened the door for him when he rang the bell. After stupidly grinning at each other for far too long the tutor took him by the hand and had guided him up the stairs to where his bed was waiting for them.

  


“So…” Payton sat down at the edge of River’s bed. He looked around to muster the room, just like his room River’s didn’t look like a teenager was living in here. The reason why? Rich parents.

  


“So…” Teased River, closing the door behind them for some privacy. His parents weren’t home but that didn’t mean they were alone. The reason why? Rich parents.

  


Payton had his hands folded between his legs, his upper body slouched while watching River move around in his own space comfortably. 

  


“What about Astrid?” Payton had to ask this question. Was she invited to whatever they were going to do? Will she appear at any minute and stab him at the first possible moment? Not just his fear of Astrid but his own insecurity was asking this question. Was the smaller boy enough for River? 

  


River sat next to him, took his hand and started to play with his fingers like he did in class. “I talked to her. Told her neither of us is open for that kind of arrangement and that you and I would meet up after school only for tutoring.” Payton noticed that River didn’t look him in the eyes while he told him about his conservation with Astrid. “Is that okay?”

  


Payton nodded. He exhaled audibly, just then realising that he’s had stopped breathing while River had spoken. So whatever they were going to do today would be categorised as cheating on Astrid Sloan, Payton concluded. Payton wondered if this was going to be easy for River or if there was a hesitation building up inside of him as big as the Berlin Wall. He himself didn’t want to think about his Alice because he never desired her like he desired River at this very moment with his beautiful face, strong and tall body build, his cleverness and his charisma, the way he felt all bubbly just by River playing dumbly with his fingers like they were tin soldiers. 

  


Payton pushed any inner conflict to the farthest corner of his subconsciousness and instead hugged River awkwardly from the side. He could barely encircle River’s shoulders with his arms and knew this must have looked lame but it didn’t feel lame at all. It felt kind of right. Kind of inevitable. 

  


River sighed and turned around in his arms. They changed their position, so it was the tall boy enveloping him, Payton’s arms now around the athlete’s middle and River’s head resting on top of his. They remained like this for a few minutes, drinking in the feel of each other. 

  


After a while Payton felt how River started to stroke his back and knew it was time to continue with the act. He raised his head and automatically met River’s waiting lips. The tutor hummed in content and pulled Payton closer until Payton’s legs were laying over his lap.

  


They started to lazily make out, both fascinated by the other man’s edges. Where on a girl would be flesh and fat, there was now firm muscle, structure instead of curves, and scratchy stubble instead of smooth peach fuzz. It felt different holding a man instead of a woman, even a different feel of security because for the first time Payton felt like he could let loose and give up dominance in a relationship. Even the initiative of touch felt repurposed and every slow stroke of a fingertip made him aware of a new sense of comfort.

  


But Payton became agitated because he wanted River so bad. He wanted to touch his skin beneath the layers. He wanted to taste him and find out what it feels like to be laying naked in the sheets with him. Payton popped the buttons of River’s polo shirt, exposing the sun kissed complexion of the athlete’s nape. He caressed the sensible skin with his lips before scratching his teeth along the tendon and sucking in a small patch of skin from the neck. River’s eyes closed, his hands spasmed while they were resting on Payton’s back and then there was this low approving rumble in his throat which drove Payton absolutely crazy and only spurred him on. He continued leaving small little red spots on River until the big guy couldn’t take it anymore.

  


River put a bit of distance between them and stripped out of his shirt, giving Payton the chance to drink in the sight in front of him. The small hickeys had almost no contrast on the toned body and were already fading in the heat of River's skin. 

  


Payton looked on, taking it all in and burning it into his memory for later use. There were River’s lean muscles and strong bone structure to admire, as well as the small waist and the wide chest, his sun kissed skin and the little to no hairs tousled on his torso. The whole deal was captivating all of Payton’s attention in an all new way for the politician.

  


“May I?” Asked River and gestured towards Payton’s shirt. Payton could only nod, he had no chance of feeling self-conscious. Even next to this adonis all he wanted to do was to continue exploring River’s everything. Really, Payton always knew that thinking was overrated. Well, at least in this situation it was. The tutor didn’t hesitate, going right to the task, he freed Payton from his shirt and left him bare to look at. 

  


Payton watched while River looked him up and down. The tutors eyes darkened and Payton felt kind of flattered getting such a reaction from a guy build like Superman. Of course he was way smaller compared to River, less defined, his skin was quite pale for living in Santa Barbara and thanks to his genetic predisposition he had lots of dark body hair. But River enjoyed what he had in front of him, just doing what pleased him, he reached out for a feel of Payton’s chest, caressing the skin as well as brushing over the little body hairs.

  


"I really like you," said River quietly, his fingertips tracing lines over Payton’s heart. 

  


"Me too," answered Payton. Gosh, he was so happy right now. 

  


Their hands and fingers probed around their torsos while they went back to kissing lazily. Was kissing always this fun? So satisfying and addicting at the same time? Again and again they teased each other emitting moans, sighs and little needy sounds from each other just by touching a very sensitive spot or finding that sweet spot behind the ear. 

  


But Payton still wanted more. So he kicked off his shoes and went up to the headrest of River's bed to get more comfortable and pulled his lover by his arm to follow. River propped himself up and had this unsure look on how to continue from here on.

  


Payton took River’s hand and began to guide it where he needed it to be, leading River's palm over his chest, down his belly to the fly of his trousers. “Please,” he breathed in River's ear.

  


At the prospect of a more intimate outcome River became visibly excited. He gave Payton a peck on the lips before gazing to his partner’s lower part, popping the fly and opening the zipper. He eased his hand in between the layers and palmed Payton’s crotch over his briefs.

The Jewish boy groaned loud and obscene, his hips bucking up in reflex. He felt his flesh continue to harden and grow under River's touch, the shaft rising up against the soft fabric of his underwear.

  


But River stopped touching him and tried to pull off Payton’s trousers instead. “Off with them,” he commanded. Payton complied and lifted his hips in support while River peeled him out of the pants. Then he went for Payton’s briefs but Payton stopped him with his hands.

  


Payton slipped a finger into the waistband and had this pleading glint in his eyes. “You too.” He whined, weakly flapping his hands in the general direction of River’s crotch.

  


River grinned, wiggling his eyebrows at Payton and fell next to him on the mattress to remove both his shorts and boxers in one swift motion, laying there naked and fully hard for a moment.

  


Tragically Payton had no real chance to take the sight all in before River was on top of him again, getting rid of Payton’s last piece of clothing as well.

  


They made sure to first meet the other’s eyes before both looked down between them and surveyed each other’s cock. Both circumcised, Payton’s thick and dark, River’s long and groomed. River’s wet tip was touching Payton’s thigh and dripping with precum. Payton’s moved in rhythm with his erratic breathing.

  


River stretched his arm out to take his partner’s member in his hands, dry fingers ghosting over the tip and down the shaft for a moment. “Give me a second.” He pulled away and turned to his bedside table where he got a tube of lube out of the drawer.

  


“Why do you have lube?” Payton teased him while he watched River apply the lube on his palm and fingers.

  


“I am just a guy with guy needs.” River raised his eyebrows, like really Payton?

  


Payton coughed. “Well yeah, more like a hot dude with an equal hot girl at his side who shouldn’t need this kinda stuff.”

  


“You mean my girlfriend, who is just like me not interested in having hot steamy sex everyday.” Are they really going to chat about this right now? What were they doing a minute ago? 

  


“Really?” Payton couldn’t believe that.

  


“Really.” Both became quiet for a moment. Did they just ruin the mood?

  


Payton thought about his own feelings and what he wanted right now and want he wanted was to continue what they had here. He sighed and curled his arms around River’s neck, playing with the short hair at the nape.

  


“Oh but I am interested in having hot steamy sex everyday.” He said with an acted nonchalance.

  


River became curious. “Oh really? With Alice?”

  


“I’m not talking about her.” He exhaled, not breaking eye contact. His eyes told more than words could convey and River understood every bit of it.

  


It was enough for River to forget everything from before and go right back to where they left off, River bent down and bit down hard on Payton’s bottom lip. His suddenly wet palm giving Payton’s dick a long thrust.

  


Payton groaned at the sensation, an electrifying rush running through his body and letting his limbs spasm in delight. To be touched like that was a first for Payton who was so used to go through the motions with his girlfriend. But here they were together and River held him like no one else ever did, the little twists with his wrist, the little nibbles of his teeth around his collarbone, his lips sucking slowly at the peaks of his bones. 

  


They reached a point where Payton was so overwhelmed by sensation he could just take what River did to him, laying back and enjoy, his body writhing through the pleasure. 

When he was about to cum he needed to grab something to hold onto to steady himself. His arms flailed around until they found River's back, holding on for dear life but still slipping since that body was all sweat on perfect skin and hard muscles underneath. His hands slid down until they were filled with River's soft ass cheeks, Payton’s fingers pushing so hard into the flesh they were about to leave bruises. 

  


Then he came, his hot release let him see black, but also kind of white and also warm colors within a moment, very confusing, his eyeballs rolling around in their socket while he verbalized his sweet fucking oh my fucking goodness onto River's shoulder. His open mouth breathing around the collarbone, his cock thrumming while it splayed cum on both of them. 

  
  


His body lost all it's tension while he cooled down. His body was ready to fall asleep, so it took him at least a minute before he noticed River was still above him, kind of hovering with his upper body over Payton. His friend had his dick in his fist and was jerking off looking intensely at the blood rushed body of Payton’s. 

  


Payton could only watch for the next minute or two, his orgasm had drained him of all his energy and he was really tired. But then he reached out, pulled River by his hips down onto his thighs, giving him the chance to relax his strained legs and patted River's hand away. 

  


Payton sat up, the height difference became apparent with the tall boy sitting on his lap but it still worked out for them. River slung his arms around Payton’s shoulders, one of Payton’s holding him close around the middle. Payton grasped with the other hand the base of River's cock, his thumb lining along that swollen vein. 

  


River took his face between his hands and continued their aria of kissing while Payton kept on jerking his dick, trying out all the little things he did to himself at night and enjoyed. It didn’t take long for River, his kisses became quickly more erratic until he could only grunt again and again on top of Payton’s wild hair, his hips bucking up continually while his thighs convulsed with his orgasm, releasing a second round of cum between them.

  


River fell backwards, taking Payton with him and pulling him on top of him. Their legs had difficulties to detangle accordingly and it was actually quite an ordeal for the two people who were still high and weak from their sweet release. 

  


They stayed like that, calming down, taking in the feel of each other and becoming comfortable. When River was about to fall asleep he heard Payton say, “Thank you.” He gazed down with sleepy eyes at the smaller boy, they studied each other and then along came this smirk on both their faces which told them how awesome it was what they just did here. That alone was enough to get them rolling from laughing so hard River had to hide his face behind his hands.

  


Payton couldn’t resist, he moved up, removing River’s hands from his face and kissed away the hilariousness of it all before he went back and leaned his forehead against River's chest, closing his eyes.

  


“You’re welcome,” said River, making them laugh again.


	6. Bonds and Blonds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Astrid POV  
> -Smut

Astrid knew it. The house was empty except for the pair upstairs and some of the service workers ghosting around… dusting something off or for whatever they were paid for. The staff ignored her fully, knowing she was the young master’s girlfriend, so she made her way inside without even getting a side glance from anyone. It wasn’t on them to stop her from following the moans that disturbed the usual quietness of the house. 

She creeped up the stairs and was standing in front of River's bedroom door to listen in on the ongoings. There was languished moaning, laughter and even the sound of their movement could be heard through the door. In-between were little conversations. For Astrid the way they mentioned her and Alice actually felt like they were making fun of them. There was especially a certain kind of flirty nonchalance in Payton’s voice that brought Astrid's blood to boil. There he was, going at it with her man and he had the audacity to talk this way, to be all flirty and condescending.

She slowly cracked the door open to have a look at them. From what she heard and saw Payton must've been cumming. She then focused on River, his breathing was already erratic just from jerking off Payton’s schlong but then after Payton came he started to masturbate while looking at the ravished boy beneath him.

It was weird to watch and take it all in. She knew River, knew him in and out. She did everything for him and not only in bed. And she knew, even when she just pretended a lot of times to enjoy what they did, for him her reactions were real. So why did she feel like her boyfriend was never into her during sex the way he was into Payton at the moment.

Still, she was kind of mesmerized by the way he was into that freak like an animal following his instincts that takes what it needs. She swallowed thickly. Astrid wasn't just betrayed by River's actions but actually felt it deep within her body. Astrid watched a moment longer in agony how her boyfriend showed a whole new level of desire for this guy before she shut the door quietly and left them alone. She didn't stay to listen any longer to her boyfriend being intimate with someone else but the sounds followed her till she left the house. 

That night she and River didn't exchange any texts nor in the morning. She looked through their message history and wanted to make sure it wasn't her always initiating contact. No. River was actually the one to text her first most of the times. She mostly initiated a conversation when she wanted something from him or saw him hang out with other people.

The next day at school they met between classes and both of them pretended like nothing has changed between them. Things like River cheating on her, or Astrid’s voyeurism stayed totally unmentioned. She even was so nice to ask him how the tutoring went yesterday, making fun of Peyton's need of a tutor for something simple as Mandarin in the first place. 

River’s eyes glazed over while he remembered something, his breath stuttering out of him as he couldn't suppress a genuine smile. 

"Payton’s problem is not his vocabulary or the grammar. He never lived in China and therefore his hearing was never conditioned to hear the differences in the phonemes. So his pronunciation is totally off. Still, when I am honest there are almost no other Americans in our Mandarin class plus he is the only one who has never lived in China in his youth. I think it's actually quite unfair of Mr. Li to pick on him like he does. He has no problem to read the characters and that should be more challenging than the oral part of Mandarin." 

Wow, she actually didn’t want to hear all that. 

Astrid didn't sleep last night but even though she felt like death she made sure no else would notice, she looked her best like the ice cold stunning queen she was. There were even more heads turning than the usual when she walked by but River hasn’t even looked at her twice this morning and she only got a peck on the cheek before he left for his first class. 

She was actually really hurt from all this and every time she noticed Payton or one of his goons in the hallway she felt like committing bloody murder. But instead of shoving them and making a scene she would run the other way to get some fresh air. 

At lunch time Astrid sat at her usual table waiting for River to join her. But then her phone buzzed. It was River who excused himself via text message to let her know that he is busy and will see her tomorrow at school. 

Astrid 

Wait why? And what about after school??? :/

River 

Busy. Payton’s mom wants me to come over after school everyday until she sees he’s improving or she won't pay me. 

  
  


Like River would need the money. Astrid rolled her eyes before replying. 

  
  


Astrid 

EVERYDAY?! But what about us? I want you to take me out to that restaurant you like so much :*

River 

Sry. But we still have the weekends! I'd love to go to Rosario's with you but you don't like it there are you sure? 

Astrid 

[heart][heart][heart]

River 

Ehhfitditdtixi

  
  


River 

Sry 

River 

Gorafi 

River 

Go 

River 

Gotta 

Astrid looked at her phone in disbelief. River never spelled anything wrong. Not even one stupid text message had ever any kind of mistake. 

She knew River would be with Payton right now but now **she** **knew**. But. But instead of the simmering anger finally boiling over all she could feel was all of her energy being drained out of her body. Astrid let herself go, her usual impeccable posture slumping against her chairback while she dwelled in her discomfort. She put her phone away and let herself take in her surroundings through tired eyes. She was actually sitting alone in the students filled cafeteria at a table for six. She understood without River next to her she was all alone in this school. There was a lump growing in her throat and she could feel how it became more difficult to breathe just by thinking about River and being alone without him. She blinked away the tears forming in her eyes and started to collect herself. Astrid needed to get a grip on herself! She won’t cry.

Astrid Sloan was a winner and even more than ever before she wanted to win against Payton Hobart. River belonged to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I''m getting a cold. Can't say for sure if I'll be able to write something in the next few days.


	7. Superman vs. River vs. River

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes ANGST!  
> But it's no wonder. Had bad news this week and I myself went kind of to a dark place because of that. Well I tunneled all the sh*t that happened and here you all go with a nice longer chapter than the usual and can be happy because I also wrote another which will be uploaded tomorrow or the day after.

Before lunchtime River had another class with Payton Hobart. Both entered the classroom at a different time and so Payton was already sitting at his usual desk when the athlete came into the classroom. Payton’s face was like stone, not showing any reaction to River's arrival but River knew the smaller boy was watching him even if he pretended not to. 

Only after he smiled at the boy with the dorky glasses he found the boy’s expression soften and a small smile appeared which Payton directed only at him like a sweet secret. That smile alone made River become all giddy inside and that even though they had a boring class of Russian Literature ahead of them. 

River couldn’t bear it to sit so far away from Payton and that’s why he ignored his usual seating arrangement and decided to take the desk in front of his new lover. As he was about to sit down he noticed Payton’s eyes widen in surprise. His shoulders also tensed and made him look even smaller when the athlete dared to fully turn around in his seat to face him. 

"Hi," River said with his charming grin, his gaze dropped from Payton’s eyes to his plump lips and up again. He remembered what he did to this mouth yesterday and how these lips on the other hand left a mark on his collarbone with a delicious ache. 

Payton cleared his throat and corrected his posture, "Hello." His voice was all business River obviously noticed. 

"How are you?" He went for Payton’s resting hand on the table to hold but Payton pulled away from him. The boy’s right eye twitched while he kept his hands close to heart. 

"What are you doing?" Payton muttered while looking around for bywatchers. 

River expected that Payton would react like that but teasing him a bit was kind of fun if he was honest with himself. Some boys just enjoy teasing their beloved ones, it’s just like flirting. Well, at least he’s never pulled at the braids of the girls he’s liked before. That would be mean. 

"Nothing. I'm just trying to have a conversation with you." He laughed and thought for a moment before he continued. " Hey, how about this, I'll go back to my usual seat and you just relax. But if we have to do partner work, it's gonna be you and I, the dream team, okay?" River pointed to the far front where Jessica Aaron with her old lady smell sat and was watching them with curiosity. THAT River Barkley was occupying her desk, of course she must have been perplexed by the new development but she didn’t even try to claim back her seat and seemed content to watch them interact.. 

Payton looked at him and then over to smelly Jessica with her chronic sinusitis and her psoriasis which always left dandruff on Payton’s desk. He was thinking hard, the gears were figuratively turning in his head until they suddenly stopped and he came to a conclusion. It was quite amusing to watch for River.

"Please stay." Payton answered. 

That surprised River. Payton looked around again before continuing in a low tone, "I don't want you to go. I -I just can't deal with all this P.D.A. stuff. And then the other stuff we’ve been ignoring the past few days. I am with Alice and you're currently with Astrid. It can hurt my reputation if everyone sees us being all 'cozy'. I want to become student body president in our senior year and I can't mess that up." Payton may had been whispering but his hand gestures were all over the place. His little hysteria was kind of endearing for River. He had a point though and it was especially untypical for the athlete to go that far off his own morality. 

River brought Payton’s hands back to Earth and placed them onto the table top. "Hey, it's okay. I kind of understand your point, maybe better than anyone else. I - I really care about you." The athlete took a deep shaky breath and in that second Payton noticed something about River he had never noticed before, something he must be hiding deep within him. Was it ‘uncertainty’ or maybe ‘sadness? River’s expression was so gentle when he spoke, "I will gladly take this seat and of course I’ll respect your boundaries from now on." 

They looked quietly at each other. Payton was still trying to name this underlay of River’s he’s just noticed which was far off from the tall boy’s normal flowery personality but then the bell rang and the teacher started their class. River squeezed his hand before he turned back to the front to pay attention to the curriculum. 

"Thank you," whispered Payton behind him which made River grin like a goof for the rest of the period. 

The teacher let them out early and they decided to go look for the abandoned classroom from yesterday's adventure. They only had a few minutes left till it was lunchtime and were in dire need for some privacy somewhere where they could be more natural around each other. Everyone else from class went directly to the cafeteria but they still earned some side glances for leaving the current of students. Their sudden public display of 'friendship' at school didn’t go unnoticed from the student body. 

Thank Heavens for abandoned classrooms that invited their students to make out in.

"I wonder if someone actually ever uses this classroom." Payton slid a finger over a shelf top and made a grimace at all the dust.

"I don't think so," said River. He came closer to inspect the dust on Payton’s finger and blew it off. “Maybe someone died in here, maybe it’s cursed and we’re drawing the anger of some evil spirit onto us.” 

Payton giggled and buried his face against River’s shoulder. Now that they were alone Payton lost all his shyness and made them hold hands in their togetherness, going for a deep kiss they both wanted so bad. With his eyes still closed he sucked in his own bottom lip after to get one more taste of River’s sweetness. When he opened them they were full of happiness, taking in every detail of the face in front of him.

“Have I told you that I really like your dimples?” He asked River before giving one of them a peck.

“Oh really? Tell me more.” River flirted and tenderly stroked up and down Payton’s arms. 

Payton slung his arms over his shoulders before he continued, “When we make out, I feel like I’m kissing Superman. The hair, the face, the body, the whole you. You’re amazing.”

River didn’t really like to hear that from Payton. “I’m just a normal guy.” He told him petulantly.

“Really?” Payton looked confused. Doesn’t River know how special he really was?

“Yes. I’m just a dude.” River frowned.

“No. You’re not. You’re like the best person I know.” Payton was so stunned by River’s thoughts he didn’t notice how his words triggered his friend. “Everyone and I mean EVERYONE likes you. Even the goths would like to be your friend. You’re so authentic, athletic, smart, easygoing. You’re nice to everyone and not ‘just because’ but you actually mean it. You-”

“Stop. It’s exhausting.” River cut him off. “Being me is exhausting.” He gently pushed Payton away from him and leaned against a nearby desk. “You don’t understand this side of me, I can’t control myself. I always do what I feel deep within me is right all the time but at the same time I become really tired of my behavior. I’m in bed and can’t sleep even though my body is as heavy as lead from exhaustion but my mind won’t stop to reflect if I can change something, do something different the next time but I can’t and I won’t because I like the way I am. This person everyone sees is what I want to be but am I really that person or am I just a poser?” 

River looked so sad Payton didn’t know it was possible for him to even look that way. But then River’s bottom lip quivered and Payton understood this was really happening right now. 

“And then you came along, being all shy and cute and dressed totally wrong for the Santa Barbara weather. And I- just seeing you, wanting you, having you, I feel like a sinner and I love every bit of it. I am betraying not just Astrid but everyone around me because my whole being, it’s whole focus made a 180 and it’s whole purpose now is to surround you like you’re my sun.”

Payton watched him with pity. He never would have guessed that River lived with this inner turmoil because River was always so endearing, likable, made life look easy. “Wow,” he said. He moved to be next to River and took one of his hands. It was a lot to think through for Payton. He felt happy about River’s feelings towards him and at the same time he was deeply worried about his friend. He didn’t know how to react. Should he be all romantically happy and tell River he had similar feelings? Or should he try to support him in some way? He didn’t know much about him yet. Like what was there to know? River’s girlfriend’s Astrid, he lived in China and was fluent in Mandarin, he was just as smart as Payton and may even study less for the same grades, he’s grounded and cared for everyone. River’s a jock, interested in the arts and he found a way to make everyone feel welcome, to become close with him. He’s honest but not brutally so. 

That sounds like much but you actually gather these informations pretty quickly about him. Payton realized, even though they started this a few days ago he hasn’t even started to get to know River yet. He was way too focussed on taking what River gave him and how it made him feel when they were together. Now he understood that being River Barkley was not just about being friends with everyone and revelling in the privileges he grew up in but that it was way more complicated. So complicated that it made Payton feel helpless.

“I’m sorry. I should go. Astrid is waiting for me.” Said River while averting his eyes. The air was thick with dust and uncertainty but leaving at this moment felt also wrong.

“Don’t.” Payton squeezed his hand. “Stay. I want to talk to you. Can I hug you?”

River nodded with teary eyes and accepted Payton’s embrace and just listened. "You know, I feel the same way about you. All I can think about is you right now, which is bad because I really do need you tutor me in Mandarin and then there is all the other stuff like school, my career, our girlfriends. I do understand what you mean when you speak about sinning. That what we’re doing feels like we’re sinning, betraying everyone around us and I don't want to cry wolf but I feel like this is going to end badly in some way. At least one person will cry very soon but still, I don't want this to end right here.” 

Payton braced himself before he became totally honest with his lover. “Only with you I feel like a human being and I mean it, I am a robot when you're not in the picture. You're a wonderful person that is put under a lot of pressure and no one seems to notice that. I didn’t. And maybe that’s why the two of us found each other because we need the other to recognize that we’re only humans after all.

“Gosh, River, you fascinate me so much. You make me FEEL EVERYTHING like I was just a wooden body and now I’m alive. And maybe, hopefully, you need me too for something. I only just realised I know nothing about you that no one else also knew you and I want to change that. We need to change that.” 

River nodded against him. Inside of River was a wild current pushing him in a direction he didn't like to go. He felt like there were two of him living inside this body, the normal River everybody knew and loved and that other person who would take over when the good River was too weak. That other River wasn't even thinking, he only felt everything all the time and had to digest what happened around him, being addicted to these feelings but although weighing every bit like it was a thousand grams of desperation to carry along. That guy was exhausting, working against the good River like he would want him dead as soon as possible. 

But both Rivers had one thing in common. Their endearment for one Payton Hobart. One had feelings for the shorter boy, the other graved his feelings like a good meal.

Of course River knew that this boy wasn't normal. He could read him like an open book. He's watched him since he has moved to Santa Barbara with his family. Through his parents’ connections the first person he met was Astrid Sloan and they’ve been inseparable ever since. A few years ago she pointed at Payton when they were at the country club to play tennis. Payton was with his girlfriend and her parents at the club for a lunch date. Astrid told him that he's a total freak but everyone around them doesn’t seem to notice and are just praising his genius. 

That's when River started to watch Payton and the longer he did the more he understood that Astrid was actually right. That guy was so weird with his super rich family, whom ¾ hated him for not having the same blood as them. The exception was his mother whom adored him like he was the sun and the moon and pampered him even as a grown teenage boy. Then there were his friends all playing along with his schemes and behaving like very earnest 40-something adults around him. They were actually more normal when he left the room. 

He also noticed that Payton Hobart was the puppeteer and the puppet of his own persona, giving himself commands on how to do things to get the best possible outcome for his prewritten path in life. 

Yes, Astrid was right. Payton Hobart was a freak but River knew by heart that he was also amazing, caring and would one day change the world. And he also knew that any mistake Payton would eventually make will let him become more humane and wonderfully unique. 

So why shouldn't River be the first mistake. 

The bell rang and River knew he had to at least text Astrid. Still, he couldn’t resist and went for a kiss, cupping Payton’s face between his hands and just going for it. Big mistake. Trying to discontinue kissing Payton became more complicated with every taste of these cherry colored lips. 

But still. He. Got. To. Text. Astrid. 

He tried to pull away which was difficult since Payton had his arms slung around his waist and wasn’t ready to let go of him just yet. 

"Sorry, I'll be quick." River put some space between them and got his phone from his pocket to write his girlfriend. But Payton just slipped closer while the tall boy typed and leaned his head against the athlete’s shoulder. River looked down at him, "Don't you have to tell anyone you're going to cancel?" He asked confused. 

"Nah, we're all independent from each other. Of course we sometimes meet up to eat lunch but that's coincidental. It's more likely that we find each other in the library." 

"Astrid and I meet up between all our classes. She's going to be pissed I’m ditching her." He looked down at his display and saw a text from Payton’s mother. "Oh wow, your mom wants me to tutor you everyday from now on or she won’t pay me.”

“Is she serious?!” Payton turned bright red. “I’m not that bad at Mandarin. Or else I would’ve dropped the subject. I can’t risk my GPA to be below a 4.0.”

River thought about it. He didn’t need the money and it was Georgina who approached him at the club and offered him the job but it meant they had an excuse to spend more time together. “It’s okay for me but I still got lacrosse training though, so I can’t go directly after school but after training would be perfect for me. I’m sure you got your clubs as well.” 

Payton just silently nodded while River looked down at his phone again.

Astrid continued with her endless texts and Payton got fed up with waiting for them to finish up. So he started to kiss along River’s neck. From the little noises he’s got as response he must be doing something right. He went next for River’s earlobe, gently biting and pulling it with his teeth.

River groaned and put his phone away. “I typed total gibberish thanks to you. She’ll know something is up.” River sighed before he turned to Payton with glee in his eyes. “I’m gonna make you pay for that.”


	8. The Service and The Blonds

Astrid’s car was in park in front of the Hobart estate when a boy just a bit older than herself came out and brought her inside. He guided her to Payton’s mother whom ‘would like to welcome her in the gardens, Miss’. This was weird. She didn’t tell anyone she would come here, she didn’t even ask to meet someone, actually she was trespassing on the Hobart property but they noticed her and instead of sending her away or calling the police on her they let her in and guided her to meet Georgina Hobart. Whom was wearing a very expensive and totally unsuitable dress for her garden work, if Astrid was allowed to say so.

“Good day to you young lady,” said Georgina when she turned to face Astrid. Her smile looked fake like plastic even though the pretty but middle aged woman was showcasing her aging skin like a proud part of herself her whole attitude screamed unnatural. “May I ask to whom I have the honor to speak to?” Asked Georgina after Astrid didn’t greet her back.

Urgs. Couldn’t she talk like a normal human being? 

“I’m Astrid Sloan. Payton and I are classmates.” Said Astrid, correcting her posture to appear taller. She didn’t smile. “I need to talk to him.”

But Georgina smiled and told her, “It’s nice to meet you, Astrid. I’m sorry to tell you this but my son is busy at the moment. Maybe I can help you?”

“No, you can’t help me. I know Payton is with my boyfriend at the moment and I need to see them,” she gritted through her teeth, her hands flexing at her sides.

“-Oh, you’re River’s girlfriend! It’s so nice to meet you. He is such a darling boy but I’m still sorry, the boys are busy studying at the moment.”

Astrid frowned. Why wouldn’t that woman let her speak with her boyfriend? Does she know about the two being intimate with each other and tried to cover for them? “Okay then I’ve got to wait here. Oh, by the way, he told me today he will have no free time for me anymore since you want him to tutor your son everyday. Is that true? Because I believe having a teenager work a schedule like that is illegal in California.”

  
  


Georgina laughed heartily and then a servant came by and she gave them her garden shears as well the garden gloves before she lead Astrid to a pavilion where drinks and cake were waiting for them. They both sat down but neither took a drink or ate some cake. Astrid eyed the weird woman. No wonder Payton became a freak growing up only loved by such a mess of a human being. Astrid could smell disaster and Georgina was wearing the word ‘disastrous’ like her huge red dress.

“It is true that I want him to work with Payton on the weekdays.” Georgina nodded. A man came around the corner to stand behind the woman in red and started to massage her shoulders. Another man came and brought her an already lit cigarette which she took and inhaled deeply. “Gosh I hate that I smoke but my husband hates it even more. Best way to stop him from kissing me.” She said before she inhaled deeply the warm smoke. “Don’t worry it’s not illegal and you two still got the weekends!”

They sat there in silence while one person after the other, never the same one, came to bring Georgina something or to assist her with something totally ridiculous. With every passing second Astrid had to sit with her she became even more sure that Georgina hasn’t plucked even one flower in her beautiful garden. It was all just a show.

Astrid stood up. “I don’t care if they’re busy, I want to see my boyfriend now.”

Georgina smiled at her again like she knew this hasn’t be over with. “Of course. Bruno!” She called and waved with her hand, then the boy who brought her in appeared again. “Bruno will escort you to see the boys.”

The boy led the way. He didn’t say anything, they took some stairs, had to go through several rooms until they reached a heavy door. “The young master’s bedroom, Miss,” he said before leaving her to it. She stood in front of the dark door and tried to hear something but the door was too thick so there was no noise, no moaning, no voices talking to eavesdrop on. She inhaled deeply before she swung the door open, expecting a scene similar to yesterday’s heartbreak. 

Heads turned around to look at her. River and Payton sat at a table, a chess game between them, both were wearing clothes and the only thing River was touching at the moment was a white rook.

“[What are you doing here?]” Asked Payton in Mandarin. Astrid only heard Chinese.

“Excuse me?” She said.

“Sorry, my mind had to switch back to English first. What are you doing here?” Payton’s smile was full on fake. Mother like son.

River stood up, came towards her to take her hand and led her to sit on the chest at the foot of Payton’s bed.

“Hey.” He simply said, visibly confused to see her here..

Payton turned in his chair to keep an eye on them.

Astrid breathed hard through her nose. Is she going to admit that she knows about yesterday? That she is aware of their affair and that they are lying bastards. She came to find them in bed again but of course here they are playing chess and ‘studying’.

“I’m not okay with this arrangement.” She said after she collected herself. “You’re my boyfriend and I demand on my right to see you after school.”

“You’re welcome to visit us whenever you want.” Said another voice. Three heads turned around towards the door. Georgina was there, leaning against the door frame, she has changed out of her dress to something sporty for now. “I’m sorry, Astrid. You were right. A young pair in love should have the chance to see each other whenever they want. Still, Payton needs River right now. And I’m only okay with this arrangement as long as River does his job. If you disturb them from their work I’ll ask you to leave.”

YES! “Thank you.” Said Astrid calmly.

The boys glanced at each other. This would not end well.

So they continued with their studies, back to playing chess, back to talking in Mandarin while Astrid walked around with her mouth shut and looked at Payton’s stuff. She watched them for a while, her eyes drilling holes into Payton before she got bored and went for his books and skimmed them lazily, then she laid on his bed and typed on her phone and made selfies in his sheets, a while later she borrowed his headphones to listen to music while Payton tried to concentrate on River and their task.

“[Don’t worry. She’ll be bored pretty quickly and leave us alone in no time.]” River told him.

“[You sure she doesn’t understand us?]” Payton asked while glancing over to the blond girl.

River smiled reassuringly at him. “[I’m sure.]” 

“[So we can say whatever we want? Just not-]”

“[-touch. That’s right.]” Confirmed River.

They both felt a tingle inside of them and flexed automatically their hands, just the thought made them grave it even more.

“[We still have the classroom,]” they said in unison. They both cracked and started laughing, Astrid looked up from her phone and eyed them with a frown.

They sat for hours and just talked about stuff she couldn’t understand, Astrid could hear every time when River had to correct Payton and how Payton tried to pronounce it right after. River was so smart, laidback and genuine. All things Astrid knew she couldn’t find in herself. By River being like that he made her better and she needed him or else her father would become even more challenging.

“River, look at the time. I need to go home. My father wants me home for dinner.” Said Astrid, she moved off the bed and stretched her arms high. Her shirt rode up,exposing a bit of her bra. 

They turned towards her. “Sure, come home safe.” Said River. She actually expected for them to leave together. She strode towards them and sat on the armrest of River’s comfy chair, touching his shoulders and stroking his mane.

“You should leave too.” She whispered in his ear to patronise him. “We don’t want to overstay our welcome.”

He cleared his throat and slightly moved away from her touch. “I’m not overstaying anything since Mrs. Hobart had invited me to join them for dinner earlier.” He explained to her in a hushed voice. At least he looked apologetic.

“You’re welcome to stay as well.” Conceded Payton.

“But your father is expecting you.” River ended the argument with that point. Shit, she really had to leave without him now.

River gave her a peck goodbye and she left them alone but not before she got to say, “I’ll see both of you tomorrow at school.” She walked away stiffly before she was out the door. 

Both watched the door for a long time before going back to their conversation.

-

She and River repeated the same play from yesterday by neither texting the other. The next day they met up between classes but it all felt like a routine meet-up and for lunchtime he excused himself again to sneak away with Payton. Again, she sat alone in the cafeteria and ignored her lunch. 

After school she drove to Payton’s place again and read one of his books while the boys ignored her.

The week went by like that. She ditched all activities her father had planned for them. No more tennis, no more sitting nicely next to him at the club with his work partners and no more her much needed tutoring from some guy who’s mastered to get into Harvard and drop out after a semester. 

Her mother noticed something was up and invited her to the hairstylist, she declined, her mother invited her to a mani-pedi but she declined. Her mother got worried after a few days and sat down on her bed and asked if Astrid wanted to come along and see Dr. Ike with her. It’s important to mention that Dr. Ike is her plastic surgeon and not a therapist. By the way, Astrid declined.

Astrid still insisted on her dinner date with River on the weekend. So they met up on Saturday. He picked her up and they drove in his car to his favourite restaurant which she hated because it was a low cost Italian restaurant that used too much oil, cheese and gluten for all their dishes. The salads swam in their dressings and when she asked for farfalle instead of tagliatelle she still got tagliatelle on her plate. It was too loud to not shout at each other and there were even children running around like crazy. You could even hear the waiters trash talk about their guests and in the next moment they would stand next to you and say something lewd about your body. But River loved it the place, so here they were, about to be food poisoned by people that probably spit on their food.

For River the place was like a big family gathering. Everyone enjoyed the company of the other, like a guy from Table 1 knew someone from Table 3 and started a discussion on why the birthrate in America declined yearly while a little boy from Table 2 came over and sat on your lap to steal from your dessert because his mom wouldn’t buy that cake for him. 

When they finally left, not before Astrid got groped by the old owner, they went back to her house and listened to music.

He was lying on her bed, his eyes were closed and he hummed along to the song playing loudly through the speakers. Astrid sat next to River and watched him relax. He seemed happy and she had a headache.

“Want to have sex?” She asked and stripped out of her top.

He opened his eyes and looked up to her. The next thing she loosed was her bra, showing him her bare perky breasts. 

She was testing him.

Without a blink he said, “Okay.” He reached for her and pulled her on top of him and then they kissed while she guided his hands to her breasts. 

This was difficult for River even if it didn’t show. He thought the whole time of Payton and felt like he was cheating on him but the truth was that Astrid was his girlfriend whom he betrayed. He had to pull through. Whatever was going to happen he still loved her. River was just not sure if he loved her like that anymore. He also had a problem with hurting her. For a long time she was the only good thing in her life.

He can do it, Astrid was sure of that. 

He did it.


	9. Black and White

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!   
> I am so happy with this chapter. There is smut. Both gay and a bit bxg  
> The POV changes sometimes because it's way longer than ALL THE OTHER CHAPTERS  
> but don't worry it's readable and I hope not confusing.  
> I'll be on vacation until February 11th. (ME ALONE IN LONDON BECAUSE EVERYONE HATES ME AND DIDN'T WANT TO COME ALONG.) I don't know yet if I'll write anything in that time but I want to finish this fic in the next two months because I got a new idea AND I NEED TO WRITE THAT DOWN.  
> For me at least it was fun to write, so I do hope the few of you reading this have fun with it as well  
> And now I'm saying it, I would love some feedback because I write everyday even though I'm busy with my studies, work and taking care of my family but here I am with a new nice chapter within a week.  
> Thanks and see you next time!

The classes Payton shared with River could be summed as sweet sweet torture. Of course River sat now in front of him in all three subjects but only Mr. Li commented on the good effects it will have on Payton. 

Now Payton could just lean forward and smell him all the time, he could touch him whenever he wanted- he was just an arm length away so it would’ve been easy to let his fingertips slide over the taught muscles of River's back. 

River would turn around every so often and cause Payton brain damage with his doe eyes and that cheeky smirk of his where one corner of his mouth was higher than the other. 

They were lucky none of Payton's teammates shared a class with them. Of course his dear McAfee had her spies everywhere and he was called upon to meet the gang to explain his ongoings with River Barkley. But he got off easily, River was his tutor, they saw each other daily and became fast really good friends! And since River was so popular it only helped Payton’s popularity and reputation, so thumbs up! He had to make sure none of his friends became jealous by spending his so much time with someone else but that's what weekends were for. Everything would be fine. 

It was Monday after school. Astrid came a few minutes later than usual and sat on Payton’s bed to read while the boys laughed loudly, discussing the difference between this generation of music to the 20th century and that in Mandarin. 

They suddenly jumped up and ran to the next piano in the house and left her behind on the bed without a clue of what just happened and feeling forlorn. When she started to follow them and arrived at the open bedroom door she could hear them in the house, their voices wild and happy as they went their way. 

Instead of following them further she decided to visit the gardens where Georgina sat in her pavilion, her hair tied up loosely in a bun. She puffed a thick cigar while she read yesterday’s newspaper. 

"You're so weird," remarked Astrid honestly and sat down on one of the chairs while she watched the woman kill her lungs. 

Without looking up from the article she was reading Georgina grinned and said, "I know." 

Astrid watched the woman in her hippie dress in silence until Georgina finished reading the article and put away the paper. She sat up and turned upper body in Astrid’s direction. 

"Not with the boys today, my dear?" She asked while tapping the cigar to let the ash fall on the ground. 

Astrid sighed and pulled her knees up. "They left me behind to play at the piano." She told her in a dismissive tone and rested her cheek on her knee cap. 

Georgina nodded pleased. "Good for them! It's great they’re finally comfortable enough to move around a bit. That they sat for hours for the past week, it had me worried. You young people shouldn't stagnate like that." 

"I don’t get it. They just talk for hours everyday!" Complained the young girl. "Is that studying for you? My tutor makes me rehearse, write, and research and all that stuff. They just chat the whole time about… I don’t even know and ignore me while I sit there and am practically dying of boredom with nothing to read but those biographies on Payton’s shelves!" 

"Darling, River is the tutor. I don't decide on the lessons. And when it’s so boring why don't you include yourself in their conversation or busy yourself with something else? No one forces you to be here." Georgina always had a comeback, it was nerve-wracking.

"I would but they talk in Chinese-”

“-Mandarin.” Corrected Georgina while smoke huffed out of her mouth.

“Excuse me?”

“They talk in Mandarin.” The middle aged woman clarified.

Oh. “I don't speak Mandarin." Duh. 

"Then learn it." Suggested Georgina. 

The woman raised from her chair and one of her people came over and brought her her painting utensils. "Would you like to paint with me for a change of activity?" 

Astrid looked at her skeptically and then to the windows of the house where the two guys most likely haven’t even noticed her absence and then back to the weird woman who at least talked to her. 

"Sure, why not." 

All the while the boys were in the music room and played alongside each other on the ivory keys. Time went by before River noticed his girlfriend was missing. Instead of going to look for her he just called her name loudly. No response. Where was she?

The boy named Bruno came in after a minute and told them that Astrid was conversing in the gardens with Mrs. Hobart and won't join them again for some time. 

Payton stood up from the piano and ran to the huge windows to have a look at the garden grounds. 

"It's true. She is with my mother and they are painting on canvases." River joined him a second later and both watched from afar the women in their creative progress. After a while Payton felt how River slipped their hands together and held on tight. 

"How about a little break?" He whispered in Payton's ear.

Payton nodded, his mouth suddenly dry. 

"Do you know a place somewhere where she can't find us directly if she comes looking for us?" He shamelessly asked his friend. 

Payton thought for a moment, in his mind he went over the whole property and through every room and chamber. "Ah! The guest rooms are on the south wing!" He said with an excited spark in his voice.

So they left the music room and went to the other side of the building. The rooms, the floors and the corridors were endless. It was like a walking through a maze. River was sure Astrid would never find them again. 

By the time they finally sneaked into one of the guestrooms they were both out of breath. Finally alone.They both reacted at the same moment, stripping out of their tops before surging forward for a heated kiss with too much teeth. Hands groping, touching, leading to one way then the other, blindly shoving each other in the possible direction of the guest bed and bumping into expensive furniture on the way. 

Payton fell back first onto the mattress and then River was already on top of him again, holding him down, straddling him while he sucked with force on his bottom lip.

They both were starving for this kind of contact. Everyday at lunch time they only made out a bit but couldn’t find any release even though they were agitated and heated wanting more. After school they couldn’t because Astrid was with them and Payton tried to ignore her, he really did but that girl made sure everyone knew she was with them in the room, reacting to every movement, every possibility of a touch, even their voices had to be controlled at all times to not give away the more intimate and private topics they had been conversing about in Mandarin.

The easiest moments were when they were just guys talking about stuff like music like they did today, being so into the topic that they forgot the blond elephant in the room. They would behave normally, more like them instead of acting for her.

River stood up, pulled off Payton’s trousers and looked down at the slender body with hungry eyes. His palms rubbed the hairy thighs, warming the skin and catching on the little hairs before he freed him of his underwear.

He followed by stepping out of his own pants and briefs before going back to Payton’s waiting arms. They slung around each other, their bodies getting reconnected while their hands mapped out the other’s shape to find the hills and the hollows and the hard and the soft spots. 

Payton felt how his heart ached for this. Since their first time it felt like an endless wait to be joined together again. How could it have been just a merely few days when the graving and longing and desire for River grew inside of him like weed with every passing moment.

But they had no time left to be cozy. This was about getting all the build up tension out of their system before they were blessed by Astrid’s presence again to shadow their afternoon. 

There was something Payton had fantasized about in the last few nights when he was in bed alone and couldn’t fall asleep. Something what he really wanted to explore and do for the athlete. And that fantasy was to suck River’s dick. 

He straddled the athlete and gave him a quick kiss on the lips before his hands roamed over his upper body, gently rubbing his little nipples and scratching over the rounded chest muscles before he attended these parts with his wet lips. His tongue then dipped into the hollows of the athlete’s rib cage to get a feel of the creamy texture of River’s skin and left with a salty taste tickling the tip of his tongue. He slowly made his way down, River sat up a bit, getting the gist of Payton’s intention and watched him with dark hooded eyes. 

He moved further and his hands were right were they needed to be, so he started his tactile exploration of River’s crotch area whereas his nose nuzzled the athlete’s flat navel as the happy trail pricked his lips.

River wasn’t fully hard just yet but with every touch and gentle pump Payton could feel it grow in his palm. Payton licked along his own thumb and met his lover’s eyes before he brought it down to River’s member and drew around the wet tip. River’s breath catched because of the raw friction, his chest and neck blushed pink from the stimulation. Payton held the shaft at the base and positioned his head to be at the same level as River’s crotch to begin with the oral part of this mission. So, next were Payton’s lips, just giving the glans a lasting peck before he probed along with the tip of his tongue at the small slit until he started lapping at the sensitive mucosa which tasted salty and bitter. This action ripped a low moan from River’s lips, his hips started rocking slightly and uncontrolled while his hands grabbed the sheets to hold onto. 

“God, Payton what are you doing to me?” He huffed.

Payton looked up, “Good - Bad?” He asked with delicious bright pink lips.

“Thumbs up,” answered River, sighing.

They grinned at each other before Payton ducked down again and sucked the tip between his lips. He had no lube in the guestroom, so he licked across his palm before fisting River’s shaft to pump up and down his length.

River sat up a bit more, one arm supporting his weight where the other went for Payton’s hair, changing it up between running his fingers through the strands and gently pulling the shock when the feeling became especially intensive down there. Everytime he suddenly pulled at his hair, Payton gasped around his flesh and send little shocks of vibrations through the athlete’s body. Coming closer to his finish line his upper body fell back flat against the mattress, his hands still gripping Payton’s hair and his hips moving in erratic thrusts like in a mania. Payton had pulled his mouth away from River’s cock and worked him with just his hand, using his own spit and the precome as lubrication to make River come.

There was this tight feeling inside his belly and this rush of heat running through his veins and River knew he couldn’t hold back any longer. When he came he came hard and loud. The heat within made his breathing stop while he felt his release splatter across his abdomen.

Then the heat and desperation were exchanged with heaviness and bliss. He closed his eyes and let himself float away from the world for a moment.

At some point he felt Payton move next to him and cracked one eye open to look what he is doing.

“Just give me one more minute and then I will return the favour,” River told him around a yawn.

Payton sighed heavily, “It’s okay. You don’t have to.”

“But I want to.” Said the stubborn guy.

“Don’t worry about it I’m already really close.” That’s when he noticed Payton’s arm movement. He was just laying there while Payton was jerking off by his side and that after he gave River a blowjob. “Just- just look at me.” He pleaded as he locked in on him.

And that’s what River did. He drank in all the little details, Payton’s shaky breath and little whines, the white spots on the reddened skin, the tousled hair caused by River’s hands, the five o’clock shadow on his face and the deep wrinkles of concentration on his forehead. The way he exhaled in a deep tone but inhaled on a high note, the way he rubbed his face against the sheets like a cat in heat for more friction and the way he closed his eyes and opened them again filled with lust only for River.

River couldn’t stop himself from moving closer and kiss these damn puffy lips. But instead of batting the hand away from Payton’s dick to take over he let him continue while River’s mouth sucked a deep rose red mark on Payton’s shoulder. He let his hands roam freely all over the smaller guy’s body. He even dared at the end to slip his fingers between the ass cheeks and let his finger softly rub over the pucker before Payton came with an open mouth and River’s name on the lips.

Even though they were both really tired and were in need of a power nap they kissed long and thorough. Then they laid there stark naked and fully relaxed while they dropped off into their deserved nap.

“I wish we could do that everyday,” mumbled River when he woke up but was not ready to move yet.

“My words, remember? Hot steamy sex whenever I can get you alone.” Whispered Payton and rested his head on River’s chest.

Right, they already talked about that before. Now River kind of agreed on that term. How could he live without Payton naked by his side for more than a day?

“I can’t wait to get you alone again.” Said Payton and put his hand over River’s heart. “Please let it be soon.”

“Me too,” he told him truthfully.

After they tidied up and washed off the sex smell from their bodies, they went downstairs to the women in the garden. Astrid was deep into working on her painting which was full of brushes of light colors building a bright stream.

“Is that like a spring rain?” Payton asked her as he watched how she dipped her brush into another color.

“It’s River.” She answered. “What I see in him, what he makes me feel.” She glanced over at him and smiled. Astrid really enjoyed this creative progress. Her father only allowed her to do sports as extracurricular activities because there were clear winners after a match.

River said nothing and just stared at the painting but Payton couldn’t say if River liked it or not. Normally River was a very smiley person but right now his expression was unreadable and that was alarming..

“[Want to go back inside?]” Payton asked his friend in Mandarin who was still not finished with staring at Astrid’s painting. The athlete nodded and gave Astrid's shoulder a soft pat before he turned around to inside again. One last glance back at Astrid made Payton realise that Astrid was smirking as she brushed a new long line of dark blue over the bright colors and across the stream.

They were back in his bedroom, River sat quietly in one of the comfy chairs for minutes as Payton tried to interpret Astrid’s expression and that last color she added as they went their way. Was she manipulating River? Did he fell for it? Was Payton meant to watch her as she disturbed her color scheme because it meant something? 

River has been so silent ever since they met up with Astrid but was it on Payton to say something?

“Are you okay?” Asked Payton with a small voice.

River sighed. “I don’t know.” A long silence stretched over them with both boys being being busy staring at their feet. “Sorry. I think I need to leave for today.” Wait. No! They had such a great day and suddenly it turned over with no tangible reason but an unfinished painting?! “I need time to think. About… I don’t know. I gotta go.”

He didn't touch Payton but just stood up, gathered his stuff and left.

Payton sat there for over an hour before Astrid came back. She looked around, registering that River was missing and looked around some more as if she was sure he must be hiding somewhere. 

"Is River in the bathroom?" She asked Payton.

"No, he went home early." He told her grimly.

She sat down in River's usual seat. "What? Why? And why am I still here then?" 

Payton was exasperated by her played cluelessness. "I don't know, okay, Astrid!?" He held his forehead in both hands, feeling the headache coming in full-speed. "Just go home." 

"Your mother invited me to eat dinner with you. It would be rude to just leave after I already accepted the offer." She didn't move and continued to watch Payton with a side smirk ruining her pretty face. 

“Go away!”

He had enough of her, he got up and threw his body on his bed to hide his face between the cushions. After a few minutes he felt the bed dip and there again was Astrid, laying down next to him. She took one of his arms, moving closer and made him spoon her. He looked at the back of the head of the crazy woman with his eyes almost falling out of their sockets. She had her eyes closed, her fake lashes brushing against her cheek and seemed totally relaxed. 

Then she spoke again. 

"You know, I saw River and you last week. I came to his house because I felt what was coming. I knew he was going to cheat on me and I wanted to catch you guys in the act of it. I don’t even know why but I just left when you guys were so into each other you haven’t even noticed that someone else was in the room with you.” She grinded her teeth. “I was so mad. I would've accepted it when you two had included me but you sneaked off without me and I won't forget about that, Payton." She opened her eyes and turned in his arms. Their faces were close enough for a kiss. She raised her hand and stroked gently his cheek while his arm was still around her small waist.

"Why didn't you stop us that day? You’re right, we didn't even notice you." Payton was too curious.

"Exactly, you guys never noticed me. I sit here every day and get ignored by my own boyfriend. Can you even fathom how much that hurts?" 

He shook his head no. 

"River and I had sex on Saturday, did he tell you?" She said that to hurt Payton.

He shook his head no. 

She yawned and tapped his nose.

"He is bad in bed, don’t you think so too? I never had an orgasm since I started dating him. But I do love him and he's good for my popularity. So I had this plan, I'm going to keep him until I'm off to college where I’ll date a college professor for a few years and have mind blowing amazing sex with this experient man. In-between he can explore his bi-curiosity to get that out of his system but just before graduation I’ll take him back. We will meet at a party where both our parents wants us to come along to and he will be reminded about how great we were together and then we are getting married just before we get our diplomas. We will work, or he will, I’ll be busy with the house and kids and of course we’ll have boring sex until we die. Hurray!"

One of her legs came up and locked over his hip. He could feel the heat between her legs radiating off her like she was a pet warming his lap. 

"I would suggest to have sex now. I mean you’re obviously an expert on two-timing but we both know you're on another team." She bit her bottom lip but still kissed him in the end, using his gaping mouth as a chance to slip her tongue between his lips. She moaned and he could feel her thighs tighten around him. Her pupils became bigger and he understood now that Astrid was actually attracted to him. 

He let her kiss him a little longer before he pulled his mouth away to break it off. But she used that to spread little kisses from the corner of his mouth until she reached his ear and bit it gently. Payton realised that this was really happening right now. It felt nice, no question but it would make everything even more complicated. He rolled away and laid on his back but his hands gripped automatically Astrid’s hips and brought her along and on top of him. He could feel himself getting hard by her little movements on his lap

He kissed his bully back and Astrid loved that, her whole body became weak on top of him.

"Can we-?" She asked him and he heard the hopeful tone vibrating in her voice. In that second it made click inside Payton's head and he understood why he was Astrid’s favourite victim to bully. All these years Astrid Sloan must’ve been attracted to him in some kind of weird twisted way and that's why she bad mouthed him since second year of elementary school to cover up her feelings. But by the way he responded to her kisses Payton must feel the same way or not? It was so confusing to differ between lust and feelings when all his blood went south and his real girlfriend made him watch a documentary about a First Lady before they did anything at all. 

He captured her face between his hands and gave her a real Payton Hobart kiss, long and sweet and better than the ones in the movies. He could feel her melt into it like it was meant to be and then he broke it off, gently pushing her off his lap. 

"I'm sorry but we need to stop here." He breathed hard. This was really difficult.

He could see hurt and shame blotching all over her face and then it transformed into anger which made Payton feel small and like a coward. 

She took a deep breath to scream at him but he held up his hands to stop her, pleading with his eyes.

"I don't want to hurt River like that." He explained. "Do you?" 

She took in his words, trying to make sense of their meaning through the rage clouding her mind. Realisation hit her. The girl skidded to the other side of the bed, the shame visibly back on her face. 

"But he hurt me like that," she mumbled. 

Oh wow. She was right about that. Payton had to think. Was it better if they all came clean now? What will happen then? Will his tête-à-tête with River end at this point?

"I know," he said. He understood her on some level because of his own involvement. "It's difficult but you have the chance to be the better person right here and now. I won't lie, I enjoyed this more than I am ready to give credit to but I care about River so much and so do you." 

She moved back to be next to him and held his hand. 

"So… What do we do now?" She inquired.

"I don’t know… Eat dinner?" Payton shrugged. 

-

The next day at school, River avoided both Astrid and Payton. He didn't even meet anyone for lunch and hid away in the school's gym to work out. Something he let slide since… since you know when. But exhausting his body didn’t help him to get over the shame he felt. What did he do? Jeopardizing his relationship with Astrid, hurting Payton’s unaware girlfriend and everything else.

But after school and an extended training session he knew he couldn’t procrastinate any longer and had to drive to Payton’s home for his tutoring gig.

He thought cheating on Astrid like he did became easier the more he was with Payton but the second he saw Astrid’s painting and understood its meaning he felt like someone punched him in the guts. He felt disgusted with himself. His thoughts, feelings and especially his actions were foul but what should he do now? He loved them. Each differently. No one asked him to decide yet but that was only because Astrid didn’t know. Sure, she had been okay with a threesome before but only because she knew they would stay an item. His heart was heavy and full of dread but he had to make a decision soon and break someone’s heart.

He entered Payton’s bedroom at late afternoon. Both his lovers were on the bed chatting like old friends.

“Oh, don’t come at me with Hillary. She would’ve never become President.” Shouted Payton, pointing a finger directly at Astrid’s nose.

“WHAT?! How can you say that? I thought you would’ve definitely been one of her ‘I’m with her’-followers!” Said his girlfriend surprised.

“It’s actually pretty easy to understand why I wouldn’t have voted for her. First of, she had no agenda. When you look back to the far beginning of her campaign, she didn’t stand for anything and the only backers she had were banks. So she was just there and demanded people to follow her. Weird, right? So the primaries came around and almost all her competitors miraculously dropped out one after the other. Even Bernie Sanders! And from every opponent on her way she acquired the best parts of their campaign and presented herself as the ultimate democrat for the race. Now let’s ignore Fake News, Hashtag Pizzagate and all that. That’s not tangible for the normal voter. 

“But look at the woman and the choices she’s made in her career and get an understanding for whose side she’s been on throughout. It’s always where she thought history was going to be written but not morally motivated but only for her own gain which is why she’s constantly contradicting her own statements. 

“Sure, she tries to be cool or hip or whatever and is NOW all for equality and creating awareness for the underprivileged. But that wasn’t always the case. Look back to her younger years, back at the times where normal people in her age would fight and scream to change an unfair system but she didn’t, she was busy pimping her resumé with working under big names which a lot of were against racial equality. She’s never used her privilege to better the world, never left a real footprint on the political left and I think that enough people saw through her BS.”

“So you would’ve vote for Trump instead?” Astrid was shocked.

“Geez no. There are always other options between two extremes. Of course I’ve studied Trump’s campaign for future reference but nowadays the media makes you believe there is only one right option and when you won’t choose that you’re a bad person. It’s civil manipulation at its finest. But we don’t live in a black and white world and I think that especially our generation is made to believe that it is. That’s why our right of free speech is threatened because we are conditioned to keep our thoughts within the box instead of exploring options.”

River closed the door behind him and their heads turned his way.

“Hey,” said Astrid.

“[We missed you at school today]” Said Payton in Mandarin.

Astrid side-eyed him for changing the language. “Yes. Whatever. We were looking for you because we need to talk to you.” She tried a friendly smile.

“[She knows about us.]” Confessed Payton.

“I know about you two.” Astrid explained again since she didn’t understand a word Payton had just said.

River froze. “Why did you tell her?” River sounded hurt when he directed that question at Payton.

“I didn’t tell her. I swear.” Payton held his hands up.

Astrid sighed and rolled her eyes. “I knew since day one. I came to your house and well, it wasn’t a big surprise to find you guys there. You always had your eyes on Payton ever since the first time I pointed him out to you at the club. Of course I noticed your weird fascination with him but you were my boyfriend and I’m the hottest girl at school and sorry Payton but you’re just a weird hobbit with even weirder hobbit friends. I wasn’t worried before.”

“Excuse me? Me being a hobbit didn’t stop you from trying to have sex with me yesterday.” He said and pushed her shoulder.

“But only-”

“Stop!” Called River. “Stop. This is too much. I don’t understand what’s going on here. You two hate each other. What-”

“To quote Payton, I found out the world isn’t black and white. You may have cheated on me but I’m on my way to forgive you. I’m okay with you two being together like this as long as you don’t forget about me being your girlfriend. Oh and I demand to see you for lunch everyday.”

“Oh and Astrid’s actually sexually attracted to me ever since elementary school.”

“Fuck, shut up!” She shushed him and threw a cushion at the boy with the glasses, both laughed.

River still couldn’t really fathom what was happening in front of his eyes. Their whole dynamic had drastically changed since yesterday and it was nice a change but all the same weird.

It took them until dinner time to go through everything that has happened in the past. Sometimes one of them became angry or even cried but they were onto something by making everything transparent between them, working through the kinks of their relationship. 

But what they didn’t talk about was Payton’s sexual orientation, or his relationship with Alice, or how his dreams and career would be influenced by this, and also if this was a romantic relationship or just a sexual exploration of the same sex between him and River. 

It was the first time for Payton to just want something in the here and now and experience these beautiful moments at the present.

River kissed him in front of Astrid and the world didn’t end.

He was happy and sated. Finally there was something else but his own ambitions on his mind but don’t worry that would change very soon.


End file.
